One Day at a Time

"One day at a time - this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone: and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering." - Ida Scott Taylor

This is, and always will be on of my favorite quotes and definitely one to live by. I heard it on a favorite show of mine, One Tree Hill, and it has forever since been the one thing I always go back to so that I can remind myself. Often times in life, people focus so much on the past and the future, that they forget to live in the 'now.' They let great opportunities slip away, they let relationships fade apart, they let hobbies fall to the wayside..living in the future only makes you realize how much you don't like your life as it is, and living in the past makes you either thankful, for where you are now, or regretful, for the things you did or didn't do. In my own life, I often live in the past and the present. I get so caught up in it, dreaming about how great the future will be, that I often forget what I have now. A great boyfriend, very giving parents, amazing opportunities, and yet, it's almost as if I've taken it for granted because I'm constantly dreaming about the future, wanting more. But isn't that what most people do? No matter how much you have, money, friends, opportunities..you always want more. I posted on facebook the other day a new "life event" and I posted "The Pursuit of Happiness: trying to find the things i used to love that made me so happy. trying to get back to the hobbies that made me, me. trying to get back to being who i was." I posted this, not because I'm living in the past or the present, but because I know who I was, and I know who I could be, and I want to get to a place in my life where I am content with everything around me. It's not that I don't realize what I have, because I know I am very lucky to have the things I do. College is paid for, I have all the things I need and could ever really want, I have a good relationship: a person that I will spend the rest of my life with, my family life is decent..I know what I have, and yes, I am happy for those things. But me, as a person, I know I can be better. I could be a little bit kinder to my mother, a little bit easier on myself, a little bit softer to the world around me and not so 'hardened.' At one point in my life, I was beyond happy. I was single, I had lots of friends, I knew what I wanted in life, and it didn't matter how bad my day got, nothing could bring me down. I was happy no matter what happened to me in life. I think back to that time so much, trying so hard to get back to being who I was. I've tried to reconnect with old friends, people I was close with when I was happy, I even tried the whole reading the bible and praying thing for a week, but none of it changed anything. It didn't make me happy. I've been so focused on trying to be who I used to be, while trying to make my future what I want it to be, that I've forgotten to live in the present. I've forgotten the beauty surrounding me, life's little moments that should be remembered forever. My memory has become something so far distant, that I can barely remember what I ate for dinner last night. Focusing too much on the past and the future, has made me forget the wonderful moments I've had in the present. I'm forgetting the laughter, the smiles, the simple moments that bring joy into my life and those around me. I'm forgetting about the things I truly care for, the people that mean the world to me. I'm forgetting who I am and I've become lost in my own mind. I've become trapped inside a world of past events and future hopes. You can't live in the past or the future, because if you do, the present moment, the simple things that make life worth living, they start to slip away, and you find yourself lost and confused, unknowing of what you're doing with your life. It's a bad place to be in..because you can become so far trapped, that it's hard to find a way out. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I've seen it the past week through getting back into photography. I've been laughing more, smiling more, feeling alive. Slowly, but surely, I'm making my way out of this hole I've been trapped in for so long..one day at a time, I am making my way out, not to the person I was in the past, and not to the hopes I have for the future, I'm making my way out to the present, to the simple moments in life that I'm forgetting. I'm making my way back to reality, to happiness, love, laughter, smiles, peace..one day at a time.. I will make it.